After successfully leading my two mellow boys through toddler-hood, I was feeling pretty good about this whole parenting thing. If you had a problem in life-with-new-offspring, I probably had already been there, done that. I could write a book! (Only I would then toss it in the trash like all my other "child rearing" books.) The point is, I was confident I had this toddler-parenting thing down...
...until my daughter was born.
Sophia has brought another set of cards to the table. She is four years old and can speak her mind—loudly, freely, and 24/7—no surprise to those who know her well. Sophia has changed my perspective on parenting just when I got the hang of it! Why? She is my third child, she has a strong personality, and she is a girl. Girl. Soon-to-be little lady, tween, teen, young woman. Woman.
I can't put my finger on it, but having a daughter has me going a bit crazy scrutinizing my own youth and life, then and now. Just like you, just like her, just like my mom, I am a woman full of as many strengths as insecurities. I feel a bit guilty about this new self... absorption? self centeredness? self... ahem, awareness? But it just might be a necessary evil into growing ever stronger as a mother for my daughter.
Call it what you want, but I'm starting to think my little Sophia is my Looking Glass. She innocently puts a mirror to my face every day. This either keeps me in check or reveals when I'm off balance, with no in-between. We have a mother-daughter bond for life. Our two voices sucking the oxygen out of the room. I feel overwhelmed by the huge job for me to guide little Sophia to her own future Womanhood—especially when she unknowingly becomes the Looking Glass. Case in point:
My daughter is thoroughly enjoying her days learning and playing at our beloved parent-participation (co-op) preschool by the sea. The teachers and families are a pretty tight-knit group since parents volunteer to be at school often. So one day, Sophia was playing tea with her friends in the sand, while her teacher and a Mommy looked on. Sophia held up her glass to her onlookers and said "I'll have some Chardonnay!"
xoxo Breeze
Hi Wendy ~
ReplyDeleteLove that story! This summer while driving from Oxnard to Santa Barbara with my Aunt Julie, mom and I, my 4-year old daughter, Katie, asked, "Mom, will I drink wine when I am older?" You can imagine the roar that erupted with a coy response, "There is a pretty good chance of that, honey, growing up in this family."
All kidding aside, I like what you have started and where it is going. These little people are powerful and hold us accountable. Don't feel guilty about making yourself a priority...it WILL make you an even better mom!
I miss seeing you at the Condon's! Have a great holiday season!
XOXO,
Stephanie
Hi Stef! I miss you and your wonderful laugh! I'm thankful fb and blogs allow us to keep in touch. A little cyber-high five! xoxo
ReplyDeleteHey Wendy! I love the blog! you are a most excellent writer - funny, sentimental, truthful, endearing - so many things! I am so very proud of you for starting this up =) and of course love the story on Sophia!
ReplyDeleteCan COMPLETELY identify with being a mom of a girl....the boys just seem so much easier, but you hit the nail on the head...these little girls hold a mirror up to us every minute of every day.
ReplyDeleteThank you for putting it so eloquently and for making it clearer to me why it is as hard as it is. I think little Sarita and I need to go spend a little mommy time together, sans boys!
Long distance high five from me too!
xox
Deb