So my husband is probably the only man reading my SAHM blog, but he obviously carries a lot of weight in his praise and critiques. Well, maybe "critique" is a strong word, after all, he certainly does not want to be exhiled from my blog forum, nor do I want to meet a reason to kick him out of my Girlie Club. Let's just say he is welcome to offer "suggestions."
He loved my last blog, the one that took me quite unexpectedly into a deeper revelation of life as a middle-age (cough) mom caring for my little ones and slowly, very knowingly caring for my own parents. He noted, this is the age. We are "in the in between." He loved the blog... and added, "You know that no one can hold the Golden Key."
I retort, "No one?...what?...someone does. Who do you think does?" He shrugs.
For the past few days, I have been consumed with thoughts of existentialism, spiritualism, maternalism, and mortality. Who holds the Golden Key? Oh the weight of it has brought me down. And when I get down, I seek supreme humor. Here we go:
I'm shaken in my boots, and it's not because of this California Winter. It's because of the upcoming "Winter Formal" holiday party that my dear pal has planned. She hosts a fun "White Elephant Gift Exchange" holiday party. Notably, she has something valuable of mine, and even worse, she has an equally—if not more—wicked sense of humor than mine. I'm scared! This is Naughty Vs. Naughty!
Backtrack a few months. A thank you letter to My Beloved Friend from Me:
"Hi [My Beloved Friend]!
Thank you for a wonderful evening! I know we left earlier than usual. I think I mentioned that my sinusitis has not been very forgiving, and is partly to blame for this funny one:
I woke up tired yesterday but had things to do. By afternoon, I let [hubby] takes the kids to the dentist so I could nap. And I reluctantly took a Dayquil pill. I rarely take those things cuz they make me so dopey! Well, despite being DAYquil, I fell asleep and woke up at 4pm wondering where the hell I was and why was it daylight at 4am?! Where were my kids? Why is the tv still on? Yah, that's where I was yesterday afternoon!
So after coffee, dinner and a red wine, we ventured to your place for some fun!
Before we left, and whilst I was trying to wrangle my kids, I was on the patio when I noticed a little piece of black fabric on the floor. I assumed it was part of a kids costume, dragged out. But nooo, it was a cute little black thong! I quickly swooped it up and thought, "Sweet! [My Beloved Friend] wears the same VS thong I do! It's soooo comfy!" Being a fab friend that I am, I discreetly placed it on your little catch-all table, probably too close to someone's hat. Sorry about that. But I figured you'd find it eventually and tuck it away.
Back at home and ready for sleep (again) I wiggled out of my jeans, and it hit me:
HOLY F*CK! I was wearing the same jeans earlier but put on my pjs for my afternoon nap. Quick to get changed for your party, I slipped my jeans back on, with a fresh pair o' panties, of course!
See where this is going?
YOU LEFT YOUR PANTIES IN MY JEANS! LOL!
[My Beloved Friend}... seriously, feel free to grab some tongs and grab those thongs and drop them in the trash! I am soooo sorry! WTF!!!!
signed,
Your unabashed pal"
I never got my panties back, so with good reason, I am shaking in my boots!
xoxo Breeze
LMAO! :)
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